What would your life be like if you had already reached LA emotional stability ?
I bet you already asked yourself that question.
However, stability is a concept that is too vague, too imprecise, varying too much according to the identity of each person.
As someone with intense mood swings, i.e., bipolarity, seeking this stability may seem understandable, even obvious.
However, it is good to consider the fact that there are multiple reasons NOT to seek it and, counterintuitively, that it would be useless to even reach it.
In this article, I explain why and I give you 10 reasons why, in my opinion, stability should not be sought.
In mental health (or not), look for the emotional stability is often the same as looking for a psychological balance.
This balance can be defined as a good mood management And a emotional regulation effective on a daily basis.
Translation: feeling good and in a good mood, on a good day.
However, it is crucial to know that mood swings are normal, for everyone, and even essential.
Yes, how could we know that we are happy if we never experience sadness or anger.
Emotions only make sense by contrast and therefore, not in opposition to other emotions that we call, their opposites.
Would it be day if there was no night?
...
Moreover, if you are interested in the impact of the seasons on the mood of a bipolar person, this video will surely interest you:
For people with mood swings more frequent and intense than average (bipolar for example), these variations can thus considerably disrupt daily life.
But in the end, is there really perfect stability?
Or is it just an idealized, fantasized concept, a pipe dream that you sell to yourself simply because yes, it makes you dream?
When we talk about stability, we often have a clear idea of the expected result.
We have all already said to ourselves “if I were stable, I would do this, or that... ah if I were stable, life would be more beautiful”. And indeed, life would be sweeter.
However, stability as we imagine it is deeply personal.
We constantly fantasize about finality, sometimes neglecting (too often?) the process, the path.
However, it is precisely this path that it is important to define and follow, modulating it and modeling it according to one's own way of being, living and learning.
When you go on a trip, for example, is it the result of the trip that counts the most, namely to be happy to have had great adventures? Or, everything that allowed us to tell ourselves that we actually had great adventures, namely, the path?
I think you know the answer...
So, if we go back to what has been said, it becomes obvious that stability as such is an illusion.
It is not an end in itself.
Everything I say seems to you to be a bit far-fetched, a bit too philosophical, by the way.
But...
We never say to each other “hey, I am definitely stable”.
No... because there will always be uncertainty about the future.
So why do we attach so much importance to stability?
It is indeed much more profitable (and I will repeat myself) to focus on the process, on the path, rather than on the end.
It is through this path of personal growth that it is then possible to find lasting, solid development that will be able to tender towards stability.
What I've just told you can be quite confusing. But if you think about it for two seconds, it's pretty logical. A boat stays on course until it reaches its destination. For this, he is constantly adjusting his direction. Thus its trajectory is not a straight line but a set of readjusted opposite directions. And it always (or almost) ends up reaching its port.
Your own port is recovery, namely maintaining a state in which fluctuations no longer have a significant impact on your daily life.
So take the wheel again and adjust the direction according to where you are.
For more information on the global support offered by HopeStage, you can go to the page dedicated to bipolar people.
When you think about it, seeking stability at all costs is ultimately like fleeing fromemotional instability.
But...
This instability, while sometimes intense, is an unavoidable part of the human experience. It is even an integral part of the human experience.
Thus, embracing emotional instability makes it possible to face challenges with greater resilience and openness. And it invites us to explore aspects of ourselves that would remain hidden if we lived in a state of constant stability.
So yes, instability is scary. But fear is a misperception of reality, a distortion. It is as if we were taking the truth into our own hands and mixing it up again and again until we completely distorted it.
Work is therefore not at the level of instability, but more at the level of our fears. And more particularly that of experiencing something that is unknown to us, uncertain and often unpleasant.
Thus, recognize that the emotional flexibility is a crucial strength.
Knowing how to adapt to different emotional situations testifies to a great deal of psychological maturity. And if you can't do it yet, nothing big deal. Because in fact, knowing how to adapt is something that can be learned and developed. It's a skill.
To do this, a simple exercise is to list the advantages that can come from experiencing a certain instability.
Yes, yes, you got it right. There are benefits to living in instability.
For example, it can help you to be comfortable in a variety of situations, and to enjoy life with greater richness and depth.
So try it.
The key question to ask yourself is:
“What, in the midst of instability, could be even a little bit beneficial to me?”
At this point, you already have two or three keys to understanding and moving towards a new horizon that, I hope, will blossom you as much as possible.
But there is a subject that we absolutely need to see together.
That of the social pressure.
It plays a significant role in our perception of emotional stability.
This pressure can be particularly intense if you are in a bipolar situation and if, in your surroundings, certain people project their desires onto you.
Namely, that you are stable.
And the basic intention is good.
But the requirement is sometimes too important compared to the reality on the ground.
It is therefore important to surround yourself with understanding and caring people, who support your quest for well-being without imposing their own standards of stability on you.
There is a big difference between managing emotions and suppressing them.
Learn to managing emotions healthy living is an essential aspect of personal development. This means recognizing and accepting emotions, no matter how unpleasant they may be, rather than burying or ignoring them.
For years, I personally tried to suppress my emotions. To hide them deep inside me where no one could find them.
What harm has it done to me...
It took a long time and a painstaking mission to go and unearth all this and finally be able to free myself from it. And it's not over yet (maybe it never will be, by the way, you have to accept it)
For all of this, consult mental health professionals then becomes really useful or even indispensable.
They will help you with several aspects of your life such as the lifestyle to adopt, medications that can help you, advice on your social and physical environment etc.
Getting help is not an option when you are bipolar.
The subject is far too complex to deal with alone.
It is up to you to choose how you want to be accompanied.
Beneath her villainous areas, theinstability offers valuable lessons.
Especially in the daily management of social, professional and personal relationships.
Thus, seeking to understand and accept it can lead to a state of well-being and development that an incessant search for stability would not achieve.
In the end, there are only advantages to experiencing some instability in your life.
And on the one hand I'm good at it...
Because yes, living only in instability is dangerous and is in no way desirable for anyone.
Accepting your emotions and experiences, including the phases of instability, is an important step towards managing your emotional states in a healthy way.
This acceptance is not instantaneous but develops and refines over time, like a good cheese.
And the more you refine it, the more competent and able you will be to manage them. It's a muscle that needs to be developed, just like in the gym.
Maybe we could call it “the room of emotions”?
La emotional resilience is essential for navigating through life's ups and downs. It allows you to build solid foundations and foundations that are resistant to emotional storms, making you more adapted and resilient in the face of challenges.
To prepare for it, you can also do a small, simple but extremely effective exercise:
Take a given situation that seems emotional for you.
Now that you have it, imagine it well. And figure out what could be the worst that could happen in this situation. But really the worst of the worst. (don't be afraid, we will move forward step by step to find solutions)
To help you, you can even write it down on a notebook or paper with a pen (it's better than on a computer or smartphone).
Once you have found the worst of the worst, imagine what absolutely all the solutions that could exist to solve this situation would be.
For example, let's say I have another sharp delirium one day (which I dread above all). The worst of the worst would be for me to go off on my mystical delusions and try again at suicide as happened to me in the past.
BUT
By imagining the worst, I can anticipate all the solutions that are within my reach to control even the smallest appearance of signs that may make me think of an acute delirious puff. For example, at the slightest sign of lack of sleep that could make me go into a manic phase and then into a delirious rash if I don't act quickly, I can talk to someone I trust (1st step), make an appointment with my emergency psychiatrist or doctor so that he can offer me medication solutions and additional leads (2nd step). And if the situation is already critical, I can always go to the emergency room accompanied by someone I trust.
Stability is not a goal in itself, but rather a process in which to engage.
Paradoxically, this requires embracing the instability that is often scary.
The latter offers valuable lessons about yourself and how to manage emotional fluctuations.
Emotional resilience, on the other hand, remains key in this process, and as Bruce Lee said, “Be like water, my friend.” (“Be water my friend”)
