It is often complicated to talk to those close to you about your bipolarity. It could be the fear of being left or it could be shame. But this step is essential for our stabilization.
You may think that it is better to keep your bipolar disorder under control for legitimate reasons.
For example if theentourage is objectively not suitable for welcome this news to make it worth it.
This is the case of very small children, whose intelligence is not yet in a position to grasp what this may well mean.
On the other hand, why should we take care of others?
The fear of reactions often pushes you to spare your Relatives, yet they are endowed with reason, therefore sufficiently equipped a prima facie to hear that one has a mental disorder.
So what do we want to avoid by being silent?
Most of the time, we fear being judged, rejected, misunderstood.
Also, deciding to speak out must be done while being clear about what is expected of it.
Do we hope to attract compassion, empathy, support?
Be careful, it is not guaranteed that it will go so well.
Toute psychiatric illness generally inspires suspicion, distrust, and even hostility and haunting.
Why is this so?
Because the only possibility is scary: no one wants to suffer from it.
If you suffer from it, you embody it in the eyes of anyone who wants to neutralize its terrifying charge, by putting yourself at a distance.
So understand that it is not you as a person who would be the object of such violence, it is what you represent: essentially the risk of losing your footing with reality like you.
So no shame to have if you are bipolar.
First of all it's not your fault. Then, if it turns out that the bipolarity frightens those around you, it's still not your fault.
Dare to show yourself as you are, and let others take responsibility for what you inspire them.
Nevertheless, you are patient, respectable, so nothing authorizes the injustice of aggressive and discriminatory reactions against you on the part of others.
“We talk to our therapist about our problems well and know the beneficial effects of this practice. We must also take the plunge with our loved ones to help us better manage our bipolarity.”
First, let's dismiss a common but misleading objective, because it is often unrealistic: it is not in order to attract affection that we point out our bipolar disorder.
All the better if this is the effect produced, of course, but we can accept that others react according to what constitutes them rather than by satisfying our needs for love and recognition from the start.
Why is it not so bad, if they don't take it exactly as one would ideally like?
Because we know why we come to talk to them and because it is not a sentimental process that requires a commitment on the part of their person in the field of affect, even if we put sincere tenderness into it.
Relinquished the fear of conflict, what interest can you have now in talking about your bipolarity To you Relatives ?
For what purpose, this choice of transparency?
Posing a responsible act.
Here is the key to your ad: keep this purpose in mind.
Indeed, it is not a question of making a kind of coming out, in other words a declaration allowing one to assert oneself in one's assumed singularity, to formalize a status, a life choice, a sexual orientation etc.
It's mostly about make accessible to loved ones some of your behaviors that they may have — or will be led to — find incomprehensible.
You come to enlighten them on a specific aspect of your life because it is decisive in your interactions.
You are announcing your bipolarity in order to make your future exchanges as smooth as possible, because your loved ones will now know who they are dealing with when they contact you.
In short, you are working for the good of the community, family or friendly.
And it is to your credit to take care of the relationship in this way.
If we imagine the latter as a rope stretched between you and your loved ones, we can notice that you are ensuring that you are on your side of the rope so that it holds up against all odds.
It's all that life requires of you, all you have to ask yourself — and certainly not to control what others do with it.
Such detachment is desirable before venturing out to talk about his bipolarity to those we care about emotionally.
It is obtained by working on yourself when fear, sadness or shame are paralyzing, when the wounds inflicted by a rejection of the loved or feared loved ones seem unbearable.
If you have any doubts about this or if you realize that you are too vulnerable to expose yourself, it is recommended to be prepared with solid support before starting.
Start from two specific points:
1) what you know about your condition, clinically speaking, and
2) what they themselves are in a position to grasp, both intellectually and psychologically.
These last two perspectives specific to your loved ones are also important:
What do they know about mental illnesses ?
And how do they judge them?
For example, does your family culture apprehend them from a pure scientific point of view or will you mostly pass for a small nature that wants to make its interesting?
First, make sure what your loved ones will associate as evidence, or even prejudices, with your revelation.
They fall within their level ofmedical instruction, but much more generally from the mentality that guided your upbringing.
You might as well take them into account to put yourself within their reach. Otherwise beware of disappointment.
This is not easy to do, but necessary to achieve the objective of presenting your turbid.
Indeed, imagine that you were talking about the bipolarity with the words of a professor specializing in psychiatric pathologies, to your 5-year-old nephew.
What positive impact can you expect?
The same thing if you apply yourself to describing by video conference, for example: Skype your illness, supported by figures and graphs, to your Brazilian granny who swears by voodoo and risks panicking because she believes you are possessed.
Respect the sensitivities of those you love.
At the same time, it's about making sure you're getting the message you really want to get across and not that they're getting the wrong idea.
Precisely because you love them, you will find the right words.
They are personal to you.
Trust yourself.
However, some advice to communicate in the best possible conditions:
1. The simplest vocabulary is always better than convoluted speech. Everyone understands: “Please know that I am being followed for a mental illness, which causes behaviors so strange that I wanted to warn you because they may surprise you or worry you.” In a pinch, we can try something more clinical like: “It's due to a malfunction in my psychological constitution : my emotions don't self-regulate by themselves.”
2. The shortest one gets right to the point. Be concise, without digressions that bog you down and drown your audience in the blur or invite them to interrupt you.
3. The most sober tone spares emotions, especially when the subject is sensitive as here. Not too many emotions in the voice, no agitated gestures. Breathe between each sentence.
And if you feel like you're having trouble reaching your goal, we'll talk about it together whenever you want.
Do you want to go further? https://form.hopestage.com/parcours
It's normal that it's hard to talk about her bipolarity.
Try not to feel guilty.
HopeStage accompanies you to better live your bipolarity.
