In this tumultuous daily journey, every emotion experienced seems to be amplified and relationships oscillate between vivid intensity and a persistent fear of abandonment. It is a perpetual quest for emotional balance.
On a daily basis, each emotion is experienced as amplified and intense. Relationships often oscillate between idealization and devaluation of the other. It is a perpetual quest for emotional balance!
Do you feel concerned?
Welcome to the complex world of borderline personality disorder!
My name is Fiona Jestin, I am 29 years old and in 2023 I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (TPB). Today, I am sharing all my advice on my site BorderAttitude And my account instagram under the same name to better manage this disorder on a daily basis.
What are the “characteristics” of this disorder?
Let's discover the characteristics of this disorder while keeping in mind that each person goes through the TPB path in a unique way:
1. Intense fear of abandonment : people suffering from TPB often experience profound anxiety about abandonment and rejection, perceiving these situations as particularly painful experiences, or even a “small death.” Consequently, they may develop a tendency: to anticipate these situations by actively looking for reasons to leave a relationship before they are even abandoned, to avoid social contact and/or to over-solicit the other in order to be permanently reassured;
2. Alternating between idealizing and devaluing others : these people frequently tend to express intense admiration for someone, only to then switch to complete devaluation, questioning the relationship at the slightest misstep;
3. Unstable self-image : often subject to frequent and dramatic changes in self-perception, they can go from high self-esteem (“I am incredible”) to profound self-depreciation (“I don't deserve to live” and/or be in perpetual indecision in their life choices (work, spouse,...) and/or be in perpetual indecision in their life choices (work, spouse,...);
4. Great impulsiveness : people suffering from BPD are often prone to making impulsive and risky decisions, such as overspending, impulsive sexual behaviors, or dangerous driving;
5. Suicidal behaviors and/or self-harm : they may regularly have suicidal thoughts or behaviors aimed at harming themselves (self-harm) and attempt suicide. More than 70% people with BPD make suicide attempts and 8 to 10% end their lives (stream);
6. Fast mood changes: People with TPB tend to experience rapid and intense mood swings. These usually last only a few hours and rarely more than a few days. This is often due to a hypersensitivity exacerbated;
7. Uncontrollable anger : they tend to have difficulty controlling their anger;
8. Chronic feeling of emptiness : they can often feel empty, as if they were missing something in order to be “complete” and “sufficient”, even in social situations;
9. Dissociative symptoms and/or paranoid thoughts: under intense stress, they may feel disconnected from their bodies and/or reality and may have paranoid thoughts, such as an unwarranted belief that they are being pursued or persecuted.
TPB is expressed differently from one individual to another but theinstability And theexperience intense emotions are characteristics that are common to all those affected.
If you recognize yourself in describing the symptoms of TPB, I invite you to do a Diagnosis. This can be done with a neuropsychologist or a clinical psychologist who will perform cognitive tests to assess and rule out other possible disorders. However, only one psychiatrist can provide a final diagnosis and administer drug therapy if necessary.
To be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, you must present at least 5 of the 9 symptoms mentioned above. However, it is essential that these manifestations are not exclusively linked to another mental disorder or to the effects of substances. In addition, these functions must be detectable at the latest in adolescence or early adulthood because it is at this stage that the characteristic traits of TPB are fully manifested. It is crucial not to self-diagnose. Personally, I consulted a neuropsychologist in 2023, thinking I was suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). She issued the diagnosis of TPB then confirmed by a psychiatrist, a revelation that, beyond the label, freed me from guilt and allowed me to better understand my reactions 😊
The causes of borderline personality disorder (BPD) are a priory multifactorial, (stream) that is to say:
👉🏻 one genetic predisposition And biological factors : there is an increase in the reactivity of the amygdala (an area of the brain involved in emotions), an increase in impulsivity in the prefrontal cortex and changes in brain neurotransmitters.
👉🏻 of environmental factors : life experiences can have a significant impact on the development of TPB. A history of trauma, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, neglect, emotional invalidation, or difficult family separations can increase the risk of developing this disorder.
👉🏻 one innate emotional vulnerability : Some people may have an innate emotional vulnerability that makes them more sensitive to stress and emotional changes. This can influence how they respond to difficult life experiences and contribute to the development of TPB.
TPB is often associated with other mental disorders, such asmood (depression, dysthymia and bipolar I and II disorders), disorders anxious (panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, phobias), disorders Alimentations (anorexia, bulimia,...), the attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, other disorders of the personality (narcissistic, avoidant,...), and the disorders of simple post-traumatic stress or complexes. The simultaneous presence of several psychological disorders, i.e. comorbidity, is frequent, underlining the importance of early care (stream).
Trigger Warning ⚠️
Despite numerous consultations with psychologists and psychiatrists over the past few years, I have found myself on a genuine medical quest for more
of a decade. I had meticulously described the various symptoms, including a propensity to self-harm and severe dissociative episodes (feeling constantly out of my body and living as if in a dream), but there were no concrete results. At the age of 20, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and then at 23, I discovered that I was high potential and hypersensitive. I devoured all the books on giftedness, and even so, I felt deeply out of step, unable to understand my various symptoms. The moment when I finally received the diagnosis was a real release for me!
Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder characterized by the individual's relationship with their emotions.
Bipolar disorders are classified as follows:
Type 1: is characterized by one or more manic episodes (feeling of euphoria, increased energy, sometimes hallucinations) or mixed episodes with or without depressive episodes;
Type 2: combines at least one major depressive episode with hypomania (less severe mania);
Cyclothymia: attenuated form — episodes are generally less intense and shorter;
Unspecified: disorders with clear bipolar characteristics that do not meet the specific criteria for other bipolar disorders
Here are some important facts to remember in order to differentiate between the two disorders:
👉🏻 Emotional instability is generally marked by longer mood changes only those found in TPB (except cyclothymia) and who are not always linked to environmental stresses.
👉🏻 The mood can vary spontaneously and for no apparent reason because it is a reason chemical in relation to neurotransmitters.
👉🏻 In contrast to the treatment of BPD, medicines are the appropriate treatment to stabilize mood and prevent manic or depressive episodes (mood stabilizers, antipsychotics or antidepressants).
👉🏻 40% people who suffer from BPD (without bipolar disorder) have been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder in the past.
👉🏻 It is also possible for a person to present both disorders simultaneously, which is called comorbidity: 7 to 10%.
👉🏻 30% people with bipolar disorder attempt suicide (usually during major depressive episodes associated with bipolar disorder)
Based on current research (stream), there is no cure for borderline personality disorder. Nevertheless, the majority of people get better and have a improvement of symptomss with well-conducted psychiatric or psychological follow-up.
There is no cure medicated for the TPB. Some medications can help with symptoms such as anxiety, impulsivity, and anger. Antidepressants, neuroleptics, anxiolytics, and mood regulators are commonly prescribed, but their effectiveness varies.
La psychotherapy is the recommended and effective treatment for borderline personality disorder. The majority of people get better and have an improvement in symptoms with well-conducted psychiatric and/or psychological follow-up.
Numerous therapies have been proven to be effective, namely:
👉🏻 The Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (TCD), developed by professor Marsha Linehan. Based on a method of”acceptance-shift”, DBT aims to help individuals develop skills to better accept emotions, improve interpersonal relationships, and find more adaptive ways to cope with stress and better tolerate distress (stream). THEFrench Association for Borderline Personality Disorder (AFTPB), located in Paris, aims to support and accompany people with TPB, in particular through DBT via videoconference discussion groups and therapeutic workshops;
👉🏻 The Young schema therapy, created by the psychologist Jeffrey Young. This therapy aims to deactivate maladaptive patterns by combining cognitive, emotional, and behavioral techniques to improve emotional well-being and adaptive responses.
Still others also exist, namely: the transfer-focused psychotherapy (TFP) and the mentalization-based therapy (MBT).
In addition, as mentioned above, the traumas are frequently involved in the onset of this disorder. Therefore, a constructive approach would be to explore and treat these psychological wounds in order to alleviate this emotional burden. This can be done through:
👉🏻 TheEMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing);
👉🏻 The Somatic Experiencing ;
👉🏻 TheICV (Life Cycle Integration Therapy).
Finally, a suggested complementary approach could be the dynamic neurofeedback, a brain training program aimed at regulating neuronal activity.
It is a daily challenge to live with a TPB, and I often consider that we are real fighters, even Borderbattants (😉), constantly In search of balance !
Here are some tips to manage this disorder on a daily basis:
👉🏻 Welcome your emotions : although some emotions such as despair or shame can be difficult to live with, let them express themselves: cry, write, communicate with loved ones. Emotions deliver important messages, and suppressing them only increases their impact;
👉🏻 Set your boundaries : listen to yourself and communicate your needs to those around you to take care of yourself;
👉🏻 Adopt a healthy lifestyle : Make sure you get enough sleep, be physically active, watch your alcohol consumption, and eat a balanced diet. These habits will contribute to your mental and physical well-being;
👉🏻 Reconnect to your body : if you suffer from TPB, your nervous system may be dysregulated (stream). Meditation, yoga, and other somatic practices can help you feel safe in your body and environment;
👉🏻 Structure your daily life : a clear organization offers a stabilizing framework, thus promoting your emotional well-being and balanced relationships.
Personally, I need a well-defined structure in my life, with a high dose of spontaneity. My motto: “Have a form of instability in my stability!”
Here are some tips to effectively support a person with BPD:
👉🏻 Educate yourself about TPB : Take time to understand TPB, its symptoms, and its impact on daily life. The more you know, the better you can understand the experiences of the person concerned;
· 👉🏻 Promote open communication : Encourage communication
· honest and open. Allow the person to express themselves without judgment and show them that you are there to support them while validating their emotions without minimizing their lived experiences;
· 👉🏻 Be consistent, patient, and understanding : managing TPB can be a long and complex process;
· 👉🏻 Support professional treatment : Encourage the person to take treatment such as psychotherapy. Show your support by accompanying her to appointments if she wants to;
· 👉🏻 Set your limits : take care of your own emotional well-being. Accompanying someone with a TPB can be challenging, so taking time to recharge your batteries is essential.
· 👉🏻 Identify crisis triggers together: this is in order to prevent them or mitigate their impact over time.
Here are a few encouraging phrases that you can share with someone affected by TPB:
https://www.instagram.com/p/C0zVL7rt2C5/
Here are some suggested books that might help you:
👉🏻 Everything you need to know about borderline personality disorder : The Borderline Handbook of Martin Desseilles, Bernadette Grosjean and Nader Perroud ;
👉🏻 Tools to manage your disorder on a daily basis : Borderline: finding your balance of Dominique Page and Borderline: practical home therapy notebook of Dr Déborah Ducasse and Véronique Brand-Arpon ;
👉🏻 For loved ones : Borderline disorder explained to loved ones of Dr Déborah Ducasse and Véronique Brand-Arpon.
At the age of 18, when TPB emerged in my body, my emotions were intense and unstable. I felt so alone and misunderstood. I spent hours on forums looking for the experiences of others facing the same symptoms as me and now Stable. 10 years later, my life is not perfect, but I am learning day by day to reach a certain poise. The diagnosis was a release for me, allowing me to put Words about my ailments and to come out with great strength of character. After hours of therapy, books on psychology and neurophysiology read, and a lot of motivation, I have acquired many tools and adopted a lifestyle That I am sharing on BorderAttitude and @Borderattitude. My goal is to offer support, to remind people that we are not alone in this fight, and to share hope and tools for a better life!
My sentence that makes me feel good every day:”emotions are temporary and harmless.” ❤️
Take care of yourself and I am sending you lots of good vibes,
Fio
